Elliot Symonds is currently 46 years of age. He is often surprised by this fact. He is also constantly amazed that he married and divorced his high school sweetheart and has two fine young sons by her. He resides in God's County, Norfolk and enjoys baiting bullies at the weekend. Just like Is-Is.


Well it's not the picture you will find on the back of my first book but it is how I look now. Rock hard author, adventurer, poker player, cigar smoker, 46 year old singleton living the dream in Norwich, Norfolk. The dream of being a real author and also being a real board game designer. Elliot sometimes goes by the name of Quirkative in the cyber world and is pretty easy to track down. He is also the inventive genius and creator of Orctions, a board game which was nominated for 'Strategic Card or Dice Game of the Year 2015' at The UK Games Expo. It is amazing that such talent exists.

Elliot Symonds was once actually only 8lbs. He thought he'd peaked at 15 stone as he left a mediocre University with a mediocre degreee. BUT then after a few months of unemployment and dreams of working at a cinema he gained a job as a salesman for a brewery which no longer exists called Whitbread. A decade later and two very memorable years selling Boddington's to the Americans he was pleased to say he weighed in at an impressive 24 stone.

Finally Elliot realised that there was more to life than boasting about how the local department stores didn't sell a set of scales that could weigh him. With the birth of a first born son, Edward, it became the inspiration to start writing a moralistic fairy tale that would guide the young Symonds' through the rigours of life. When a second son came along by the name of William, Elliot engaged in writing a massive fantasy tale that he could bequeath not only to his children but to the nation and the world.

Elliot now spends his time trying to perfect the art of pipe smoking. He also will never give up in his quest to educate the young through literature and his ultimate goal is that just one young man or woman reads his novels, realises that there are references to Shakespeare or very rare Greek Myths, goes to the original texts and discovers a world of such insight and intelligence that it amazes them beyond what this modern world of celebrity and dumbing down can offer.

Elliot is available for lectures on the process of writing. He is extremely happy to read passages from his novels and is always happy to sign a book, even if it is not his own.